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All of my teams played at least one game last weekend. It’s great to get back to outdoor soccer on a regular basis now. After a couple of weeks of training the kids are back in the flow again as well. Our weekly training now consists of a Technical Training Day and a Team Training Day. I’m still using elements of Play – Practice – Play but also working in some isolated technical training during the middle of the session. The Team Training Days are sometimes are sometimes PPP sessions and other times we use other methodologies that help bring out the particular topic that we’re focused on that day.
I’m back using my Veo soccer camera again to record my games. I didn’t use it at all indoor. I’m not sure why. It was just too much of a hassle taking it from facility to facility in the winter. I’ll have some videos to breakdown and share with Patreon members in the coming weeks. This weekend I’m going to review on of my U12 11v11 games and post that to the site. It includes one of the nasties challenges I’ve seen in a while. Fortunately, my player is ok but I’m not sure how the player escaped without at least a yellow.
As the D License course I’m working on wraps up I lead my last virtual meeting last Friday. It was focused on 11v11 stages of development. All we have left now are the field evaluations and the Personal Development Plan presentations. It’s been a great experience but I’m looking forward to the extra time I’ll have once it’s over.
In this Episode
When I look back on all of my memories of coaching one day, the ones I’ll cherish the most are the years I spent coaching my own daughter. Today my daughter, Alex, and I answer your questions about the often difficult but rewarding balancing act you go through when parents coach their own children.
Future Episodes
I’m going to be taking next week off from the podcast for spring break. That will give me some time to catch up on things around the house as well as posting training session notes and videos to the Patreon site.
Great episode to me as a dad who has coached his daughter for 6 years now after coaching her older brother for 10 years. One thing the episode made me think of is how many of those questions, particularly those about benefits and issues of filling both coach / dad at the same time, I could discuss with my daughter now to ensure a good relationship. How much of that did you discuss with Alex in the years prior to the episode and are there things you wished you’d discussed sooner?
Thanks!
Doug, I’m glad you enjoyed it and found it though provoking. When my daughter said to me, “You don’t think I’m very good.” That was a punch in the gut. That’s when we started talking about the role of the coach and the role of the dad. I think she was about eight or nine at that time. It also made me more aware of how I communicate with other kids and how that might make them feel.
I don’t think I would have had that talk earlier because I wasn’t aware of how she felt. It was the right time for both of us to come to that realization.
Thank you Tom. I wish I would have heard this 2 years ago. My daughter is 16 and she tore her ACL twice so basically her soccer desire is gone especially after COVID. You are a good example what I would have done different is do what you did which is be coach in practice only not every day doing the back-yard thing. Sad to say that maybe if I would have been more like you, my daughter would still have that desire to play soccer and have fun. I think we treated soccer more like soccer was her job and just like I worked hard and earned a living soccer was her job so she was expected to do well practice hard. I should have focused more on her having fun. Thank you for letting me vent.
I’m sorry to hear about your daughter’s injury. Maybe once soccer starts to get back to normal she’ll miss it and find that desire again.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. I often wonder if I should have been more demanding. What would have happened if I was, I don’t know. It’s certainly a difficult balance to strike.
Thanks Coach Tom and Alex. I enjoyed the podcast as it brought back many fond memories of years past and from just days ago with my daughters.
I have three daughters that I’ve coached through rec, travel and as their middle school coach. I stepped away from both my oldest and middle daughters’ travel teams during the middle school years to move them to a bigger club with better opportunities. My oldest starts collegiate play in the fall. My second still plays and is a freshman in HS. My third daughter still plays for me in travel and will play for me in the fall in middle school (if she can make the cut 😉). Unlike the other two, I plan to keep this team through high school.
But with all of that said, I have to agree with you both when it comes to the wonderful memories of driving to and from practice and the overnight games. Knowing that these are fleeting moments, perhaps my favorite memory lies with my youngest and always looking forward to getting a chocolate milk after a tough practice. These are indeed great times.
Thank you for sharing the fantastic podcast.
Thanks for sharing your experiences Charlie. I’m glad you enjoyed the episode. It was definitely my favorite to do.
Really enjoyed this podcast. I have been working with my daughter since she was 5 and she is now U16. Much of these experiences and approach mirror what I have done so nice affirmation of how I have done things. I only ever worked with her minimally at home and never pressured her because I feel like it’s your boss coming home with you every night. I wanted her desire to play to be her own and not mine for her. We had the Dad and Coach Dad conversation, which I relay to other new coaches in this situation trying to create some separation. Our car ride conversations have grown to be more reflective and bouncing off one another and I feel has led to her desire to coach herself and she now has a U08 rec team. Her parents have already asked if she’ll be coaching them in the spring. Really enjoy seeing her do this and now the conversations we have are helping her become a better teacher of the game.